Interesting how I made a tumblr to use as a blog, yet I don't feel safe posting certain things. It's odd using a blog to yell, seeing as no sound is produced, no feelings truely vented, but sometimes even the words written down can relieve people of their stress an aches.
Yes this is long for a Mind Blip, consider it a Mind Bloop then, a slightly longer, lingering ripple eminated from the spalsh of my blog.
Contrasting this post and the previous two is quite amusing really, I am a fan of doing 180s, but I suppose considering the gaps in time between those posts it's only fair I've a different mindset and different opinions.
Even in this haven of mine, this little dank cavern of thoughts that no one visits anymore, I'm afraid to say some things. Words get me in considerable trouble, and I don't want to go off and do that again.
Overall, I'm happy, even though there's a lot not to be happy about. I'm still jobless after all this time, I'll be repeating 1st year of college again, and I find myself with an ache in my heart that arises from time to time, and I'm wanting to be rid of it.
I've a saying which is pretty simple and logical, but people often forget it. "If you ask a question you can get a yes or no, consider a 50% for both, but if you never ask it's essentially always 100% a no". I find myself the sufferer of my own wisdom. Not knowing is the worst thing possible, I'd prefer her to say no then to never know, because in those places inbetween knowing my mind is free to reek havoc upon me, filling my brain with defeatist ideas, depressing outcomes and overcomplicated views of such simple things.
All I want to do is tell you how great you are, how wonderful and insane you are. How I stay up night after night just to see how you are after work, since I can't be physically there. I want to be with you, and I hope you feel the same, but the longer it goes on, the less I believe that will be the case. I won't say love, that's a very strong word that is gained over time, but I'm certainly smitten. That horrible horrible emotion, enamoured so much that it hurts and with no way to relieve it.
Soon though, the next time I see you will decide so much.
Yes or No, at least I won't be left wondering.